My children are now in their late teens - they have both always been delightful humans and I believe the reason why is that we always treated them like humans. Many parents treat their children as sub-humans or not-quite-human-yet (that whole being considered a real human comes when they are of "legal age", right?) or mini "savages" that need to be "tamed". Our philosophy was to treat our kids with the same respect we treat each other and other human beings. As an Official Grown Up, I would be offended if others told me "you know better", gave me a time-out or gave me a swat if they didn't feel I was behaving appropriately. Society expects Kids to accept a lot of treatment that Grown Ups would never stand for.
Life is a series of choices and natural reactions to those choices. As parents we feel our responsibility is to provide training, protection and security for our children as they learn and make real the boundaries of their worlds.
As new parents our desire was to give our best to raise part of The Future to be involved, positive beings in the world. Because we chose to go without many creature comforts to raise our kids we got a LOT of face time with them and they saw that what we said was what we lived. They learned compassion, kindness, tolerance, respect, non-duality and a host of other helpful personal growth and social-interaction skills. Yes, even when they were toddlers, even when they were small children. Why play in the toilet or fight with brothers and sisters when you are busy gardening, being involved in community service or helping a neighbor? I always felt a tad guilty when we were praised for having "such well behaved children" because we didn't do anything special to "create" those beings! We simply treated them like, well, people.
It may not work for everyone, but it worked beautifully for us. I wish all parents joy, growth and *fun* in your parenting journeys
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