Approval

First things first: you don't need the approval of others to be a great parent. You don't even need their encouragement, their tips/tricks/techniques or their "wisdom". I'm joyful when I hear of parents who have chosen to change destructive family habits in order to give their children a better life. I'm thrilled when I see parents completely changing their socialised thought patterns and conditioning to step outside of the accepted norm so their family can be free. It takes a lot of courage to do this and often it can mean ridicule or estrangement from family and friends. We definitely are the Local Freaks for thinking and living the way we do.

I'm pleased at the variety of encouragement available to parents seeking change. I've seen quite a few moms share that they've had their eyes opened thanks to a book, web site or documentary. And while I'm excited to see more and more parents looking at their kids as the humans they are and making radical changes, I'm also devastated by the same comments. Why? Because so many of us are so insecure and unsure of our own instincts that we need reassurance from people we often have never met nor are likely to. What those comments tell me is that the societal conditioning/public school mentality indoctrination is pervasive. "Don't do anything different from the crowd, even if your guts are crying out for something different." Why do we do it? To gain the approval of our peer group? Some people do it even for the approval of strangers. But here's the thing: we don't have to. The scary fact is that each of us is responsible for our own actions, our own lives. Despite the conditioning, abuse (or lack of), pressure and the millions of other factors that have led us to this point in time, the person who is choosing to move in your life is you. There are countless ways in which I could have emulated my father, step-mother, brother, various family, classmates, friends, teachers, neighbours...but I didn't pick up every one of their habits. Waking up to the concept that I had total choice over the world I created was empowering. It meant I didn't have to live by the template I was given nor by standards I had enforced upon me. I was free to choose. I was free to learn how to truly live.

What's more, each of us has a moral base - an idea of what is right and wrong in our personal universes. I'm not talking televangelist morality, but what you feel is right and wrong in your personal actions. So, even if you are currently living your life seeking approval from people, there is no guarantee that they will give it or even give it consistently, based on what they believe is right and wrong. What a waste to seek the approval of anyone else! Why not listen to your instincts instead, especially when it comes to being a mother or father? You have before you a tiny human, not a sub-human, not a less-than-human, but a teensy human life. Look at that little face and think of all the heartless people out there who won't care about her feelings. Think of all the people who will hurt him, or try to hurt him. You have the power to bring joy and goodness to this life, to counter for all the knocks and garbage she may encounter in the future. You have the power to shape and share a positive world to make up for the negativity that seems to surround so many. You can make a change to the world right now, today, by being the parent your child needs. By giving love, attention, patience, kindness and warmth to even one child, you are making the world a better place! For your child, for you, and for all who will encounter your child in the future. As a mom, that is amazing to me. My kids are older now and I'm able to see some of the results of my 'easy' work and I'm awed. They've become much more amazing people than I could ever have imagined. All because I was willing to give them a world filled with positivity, love, freedom and joy. Because I was willing to say "I don't know, let's find out" and "What do you think?" and "I love you"

You don't need anyone else's approval to open up a beautiful world, you just need love and a willingness to try. You may find that your own approval is all that matters to you after all.