It's All the Fun Part

Are you living with the idea that you have to endure work or The Boring Part in order to get to The Fun Stuffs? Have you ever had a day that seemed to take forever and all you looked forward to was having some fun or relaxing? Have you ever had a day that seemed to take forever and you were never able to get around to having fun and relaxing? Have you ever told your kids that it's tough but they just need to slog along until The Important Things are done?

This is where I tell you I don't believe in any of that.

There's a brilliant Seth Godin quote that goes "Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, you ought to set up a life you don't need to escape from." (it's probably the only thing I agree with him about).I've lived my life this way for quite a while, long before I ever discovered the quote. Does this mean that the toilets never get cleaned and nobody ever puts petrol in the car? Of course not. People seem to think that setting up a life you don't need to escape from includes having lots of money and servants. Because we all know that rich people never feel the need to escape from their lives, right?

We don't need to be miserable and mistakenly believe that it is being "responsible" just to go to work to earn money to buy things you probably don't need anyway. I definitely have a lot to say on that subject and will soon.

In case they might be able to help you, here are some of the main things I do daily to keep lovin' my life. Because it's all the fun part. If we put off enjoying ourselves and cherishing our loved ones until we "have the time" then it will never happen. And the world is full of people who are fragmented and abjectly miserable because they keep slogging away until they get to the fun part. Which rarely ever comes.

*I choose what I want to do. I want to stay at home and share life and learning with my kids. I refuse to be demeaned or guilted by anyone else over this worthwhile choice that makes me happy. I'm no less of a woman or feminist because I think changing diapers, unschooling, growing food, etc is noble. Nor am I a slacker because I'm not out earning money for what I do. What I do is valuable, whether people I know agree with me or not. Choose what you want to do and be sure it's what truly makes you happy. Choices mean sometimes you go without or do not take an opportunity. It's impossible to have it all so make the choices you can live with.

*I take responsibility for my choices. Again, it's about making choices I can live with. If I'm at home rather than outside earning money, I must accept the down-side as well as the benefits. In my life, it had led to a lot of knowledge and acquiring more skills than I would have had if I'd stayed outside working. I can go without material possessions but I wouldn't have been happy if I'd given up the opportunity to experience life learning with my kids. They are priceless and knowing that I've done everything possible to raise thoughtful people who will bring joy and kindness to the planet makes me happy too.

*Use setbacks and suffering as a means to change. I love Albert Einstein's quote that "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." If things aren't going well for you, try changing something. If your mind is open, suffering can lead to compassion, setbacks can be a chance to develop skills. Don't be afraid to grow, change and become a better person.

*Do the inevitable things with a smile. If you need to do something you find unpleasant you have two choices: (1) do it with a good attitude (2) do it with a bad attitude. If you look at things positively you will do the job more quickly and efficiently. Also, looking at everything as a learning or growing experience can change the way you do everything! What will you miss if you are only narrowly looking at a task? If you find a task unpleasant, think about why you believe that. Often we don't hate doing something but have bought into societal conditioning that the task isn't noble or worthy or that it is drudgery.

*Balance work and rest. Balance is one of the most important things in life. Don't base your existence on the typical work/school mentality that after so much "work" you get a rest. This is the same system that wants to tell you when to eat, when to use the bathroom and when to wake and sleep. It's not a system designed to keep you healthy! Listen to your mind and body. Do what needs to be done, do it with joy and take a break when your body says it is time.

I can honestly say that I love my life. I am thankful to be living the life I have with people I cherish. I have bad days, bad moments, times when I forget what I know to be true. But truly, my life is great. It's all the fun part, all the good stuff, all for real.